Yeah, so why is it whenever I come home I have absolutely no drive or desire to do anything except sit and rot?! It's really starting to piss me off. I got all my work done for Uni 101, and it took me like, 2 hours longer than it should have. I still have a paper to write for French, and I have to study like crazy whoa for Geology so I don't completely bomb the last test. I will be completely busy tomorrow, early Friday will be swamped with laundry and some cleaning before I go to Zach's (so excited ^___^), and then Saturday be mostly busy because my family is going to celebrate my bday. Then on Sunday I get taken back to planet Motown, where I will have to meet with people from French to get our film project done, most likely before I get to see Zach, which I will want to do as soon as I get back since I will have not seen him for a total of 9 days (I miss him so much already). So bottom line is I have to get a shit load more work done today sometime in order to not fall horribly behind for this last week of the semester!

Fuck, and I was going to make this a short post.



Ah well, back to the cage that is the school work I have remaining.

So I am bored. Therefore, I will post. Plus, my last entry was really depressing, and I have moved way past it. Things are going superbly with Zach, and so far I have had a good vacation home (although for some reason I can't seem to be motivated to do anything). Yeah, actually it's like I'm living in a cube of jello- I can move around, but it takes so much effort I just want to stay put. Which is bad, because I have homework and laundry I need to do before I return to school. But oh well, I'll make myself do it all sometime this week.

So yeah, that's really all for the time being.

Till next time!

Yeah, so today, for some reason, didn't really go that smoothly it seems. To me anyways. I don't know about Zach. But I know that for most of the day I have felt . . . discontent? I guess that would be accurate. It's just some of the things that he wouldn't do today, combined with the fact that around 11:30pm, I went to take a nap, and I had set my phone alarm for about 12:30am. I told Zach I was going to take a nap, and he was all, "I'll wake you up when Jason gets here." "Ok, thanks" I said. So I turn the alarm off on my phone. When I wake up, it's a little after 3am, and I can hear everyone's inebriated laughter. I lied in bed for a minute, thinking to myself. Then, after thinking not too hard for a few seconds, I realised that Zach had never woken me up, andthat I had long missed a point of entry into the 'circle'. So instead of going out there and trying to be all relaxed around everyone who are all too far gone by now, I am going to do the girl thing and just stay awake in here until he comes into the room for something. And even then I'll probably stay here. And the thing that pisses me off is that he took a nap today for almost 2 hours, and I let him sleep. I also woke up at 10am Sat morning, but stayed in bed until he got up at 3 in the afternoon with him.

It just seems like he's getting more than I am right now, and I know he doesn't get it.

Wow, has it really been 6 months since I last posted? It has been a while. I guess I'm gonna start trying to post here again somewhat regularly. It will be a nice escape from facebook (which I have become too dependent upon >.< )

So for whoever might check this anymore *cough*lauren*cough* think of this as my coming back post.

And as a super quick update about my life in the past 6 months:

I came to college
I ended a fling I had
I got along with my roommate
I made new friends and kept some old ones
I found romance
My roommate hates me now
I'm almost at the end of my first semester
I'm back on LJ


Yeah, that about sums up the last 6 months, I think.

(excuse the grey's anatomy, but it has the best sound quality)

I woke up this morning with a funny taste in my head.
Spackled some butter over my whole grain bread.
Something tastes different, maybe it's my tongue.
Something tastes different, suddenly I'm not so young.

I'm just a stranger, even to myself.
A re-arranger of the proverbial bookshelf.
Don't be a fool girl, tell him you love him.
Don't be a fool girl, you're not above him.

I never thought I could love anyone but myself.
Now I know I can't love anyone but you.
You make me think that maybe I won't die alone.
Maybe I won't die alone.

Kiss the boys as they walk by, call me their baby.
But little do they know, I'm just a maybe.
Maybe my baby will be the one to leave me sore.
Maybe my baby will settle the score.

I never thought I could love anyone but myself.
Now I know I can't love anyone but you.
You make me think that maybe I won't die alone.
Maybe I won't die alone.

What have I become?
Something soft and really quite dumb.
Because I've fallen, oh, 'cuz I've fall-fallen, oh 'cuz I've fall-fall-fallen
So far away from the place where I started from.

I never thought I could love anyone.
I never thought I could love anyone.
I never thought I could love anyone,
But you, but you, but you, but you, but you
But you make me think that maybe I won't die alone.
Maybe I won't die alone.

Ingrid Michaelson

I really hope I can find a guy as awesome as my uncle Tyler to marry. Congrats Ty and Meghan! ^_^<3

I've been on a yaoi/shonen-ai kick. And a drawing kick. And a j-pop/rock kick. I love it, and yet at the same time it's frustrating. Mainly because the song that I want a full version of hasn't had a full version release yet, so I only have the minute thirty second version and it's not enough. Kinda like my love life. At the edge and I wanna jump, but can't quite get myself to take the plunge. That comes when I can finally be at college, I guess. College=Debt. Debt=Not Happy. Not Happy=Wrong. Wrong=Gods Damnit. Yeah, that is about where I am at right now, gods damnit. Oh well, can't be helped. I feel like writing a poem too. Haven't done that in a while.

I wanna be
I wanna fall
I wanna stop and change it all
I wanna feel
I wanna shot
I wanna catch and be caught
I wanna move
I wanna yell
I wanna ignore and just rebel
I wanna mistake
I wanna commit

I want it all and that is it

(poem inspired by Stance Punk's, 'I Wanna Be'{the song in the vid below}, because I was listening to it)

hmm, interesting.

Well, I leave you all.

Happy 4:20! (pretend this was posted at 4:20pm ^w^)

I GOT A PROMISE SCHOLARSHIP TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK! YES!

I don't like Mike's new schedule at Home Depot. Sometimes now he is working from 2pm-11pm, and when my mom works, I have to watch Cole all evening. Sux.